It has been a while since I was able to blog.
A lot has happened since I last made an entry which I blame as the reason why I failed to update this blog of mine. My relationship ended and both my brother died in the same year. Life has its ups and downs but sometimes it just feels like when you are down, it kicks you in the groin just to make you felt worse than you already do.
I thought that my relationship has been set on stone. We were about 2 years. We seemed to have weathered a lot of problems and it seemed to be smooth sailing.
I thought that I already have a wonderful life, thanks to my ever supportive brothers. But nature has her on way of teaching us experiences that we can never forget. Experiences that will mark in our heart and mind.
When life makes changes for you sometimes you are never prepared but one should always be prepared for the worse. One should always have something ready to catch him when the unexpected comes.
When these trials come, it may freeze you to inaction or it may fuel your drive. When I broke up with my wife, it made me a zombie. Each day passes and goes but all I do seem just to fill up time - in order not to think about her or our relationship. I was stagnating and it did not matter to me. When my brothers died, it forced me into action. Partly out of necessity, but mostly it pushed me and gave me a direction.
I haven't spoken to my ex ever since the break up. I did not know how I really felt - if I would welcome her back or if I had closed the door one last time. My life was on hold and there was no clear path to where I would be heading. Only our child connects the two of us, of which she selfishly cut.
The death made me realize how life is too short. I was needed by others and I needed others. The desire to be creative and to express myself surfaced. Hence, the return to my blog.
When my relationship ended, a part of me died. It took two deaths for me to reclaim my life and feel alive again.
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