Never Apologize

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."

Thats what I realize for the past few days I've been bed-ridden due to this ailment of mine. I don't know if I realized this thing because I just did, or because my brain's getting big now! He he.

Now, why should I say sorry? After all, that's the truth. A truth that would be so hard to deny. I still have feelings for her. And so what? I'll be keeping that one, at least, I know for my self that I was able to love someone so dearly that I don't care about myself anymore. Unselfishly. Okay, only on my part.

At least, I've been completely honest to Caroline when I told her that I still love Gem, and that my feeling for her (Caroline) is something lesser than that of Gem. At first, I thought we already cleared things out, but I was wrong. In the end, we broke up. Our only connection? Our baby. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now, back with my feelings. I've been thinking, even if I won't pursue Gem, [which, by the way, is what I'm going to do :) ] I'd still continue to enjoy the feeling I am feeling right now, until the time comes that I would be tired and give up. For the meantime, LET THE LOVING FEELING continue!

:)

LARA (My Love)

Searched this world all over
For that one special girl
Who was looking for love
Not diamonds or pearls

From outta no where
You entered into my life
Like a ray of sunshine
So warm and bright

Touched my heart all over
In a very special way
I never forget that moment
How it carried me away

The times that we shared
Clings to me heart
I knew it was love
Right from the start

Chorus:
I'll love you forever
Forever and more
For all that you gave me
It's you I adore
I'll love you forever
Forever and more
Forever and ever
Forever and more

Things of time have changed
You drifted away
But you left me something
To cherish each day

A passion for life
The courage to be strong
The will to succeed
And a sense I belong

Chorus (x2)

Authors Note:
I can't find a Youtube Video of LARA (MY LOVE), so bear with me with this video. Whoever owns this one, sorry to drag your faces on my blog. Peace out!

Frustrations

There's no windows in this place
for me to show my weary face.
Rage I hold within my soul
at times I cannot control.
What's the point of me being here?
When being me is what I fear.
Every day it's all the same
trapped again in my own pain.
I cry myself to sleep
so many secrets I must keep.
No one to reach me...nobody cares.
Trapped in the middle of a distant stare.
I've prayed that I was free
of this grief that's filling me.
Everywhere I turn
every bridge must burn.
There's no windows in this place
for me to show my weary face.

untitled 2

I wish I can turn back the hands of time, back to the time that everything between us was okay. Everything seems to be in place. Back to the time that even in long silence, feels like a lifetime of conversation. Where there's something that we are looking forward, the long chat that we used to have. The long Voice Conversations we used to have. The Joke, the songs and evrything abput anything with you.

Damn, I miss you.

Thoughts beyond oblivion

I've been thinking.

1. Ang totoo hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako na sabihin mong ako parin. Ako na lang. Ako na lang ulit.

2. Hindi mo alam kung gano ko kagustong sabihin sayo na.. Sana tayo na lang.. Tayo nalang ulit. Pero pag sa tuwing mararamdaman ko kung gano kita kamahal, hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman ulit lahat ng sakit..

3. But you're asking for too much. Do you want me out of your life?

I've been thinking, until now, I am hoping that you still love me. That you still want me. Please, tell me that you still do. But I am not sure if I want to tell you that we can still be together. That I hope we can still be together. But everytime I feel how much I love you, I can't help but also feel the pain. When you told me to stop, have'nt you thought that you're asking too much. Do you want me out of your life? Of course you do, you have him, right?

Bitterest Tears

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I’ve left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can’t always see the pain someone feels. What’s the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?

Every night I talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you do.. Far away and never replies to my questions.

Why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do believe in?
Times a precious thing to waste, but friends are more precious
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.

It ends tonight

This happen just now. I think I was too comfortable posting messages at her wall. To the point that I didn;t think of anyone. That someone might get hurt or something. That I'm causing some trouble to their relationship. All I thought was that evrything was okay already. That there was nothing to worry about. But I guess, I've been lenient too much.

[My mind is totaly blank. I'm out of words. And what the heck is this tears for? Why do I all of a sudden felt sadness and pain? Was I hurt when she told me to control posting in her wall? I think I am. The tears prove me right. I AM HURT]