Messenger

I just had my latest Y!Messenger with her. I wasn't about to reply with her message but I was attracted by the fact that her profile picture was with somebody else. So I replied with her message. Here's the complete transcript:

jaefenyoon: hi
jaefenyoon: who's he?
dark angel: he's a close friend of mine who just graduated from college
dark angel: and who's she?
jaefenyoon: looks like you're too close with each other
jaefenyoon: i mean
jaefenyoon: literally
jaefenyoon:
dark angel: hehe. and it you, with that girls seems literally close too
dark angel: *alisin mo na yung it
jaefenyoon: she's a close friend also
jaefenyoon: same with yours
dark angel: is she your fiance?
jaefenyoon: is he your borfriend?
dark angel: nope. defntly not.
jaefenyoon: just the same
dark angel: hehehe. so what have you been doing lately?
jaefenyoon: nothing
jaefenyoon: just studying
dark angel: business related course i guess?
jaefenyoon: at last
dark angel: at last? hehe
jaefenyoon: at last
jaefenyoon: i get the chance to take my own course
dark angel: which is?
dark angel: so? have you been blogging after your 1st blog?
jaefenyoon: no
dark angel: why?
jaefenyoon: just dont feel like to
dark angel: you lost interest in posting
jaefenyoon: its not that
jaefenyoon: i just dont feel to
dark angel: i just thought you created a new one. and maybe by chance i could read it so that i would know what happened to your life. but i guess you dont have one
jaefenyoon: it would be better if you wont know if i have a new one
jaefenyoon: how about you?
jaefenyoon: you still blogging?
dark angel: nah i've lost my drive in posting to my blog
jaefenyoon: may i ask why?
dark angel: i dunno. sigh
jaefenyoon: okay
dark angel: di ka na ngrply sa emails ko b4. hehehe
dark angel: iniiwasan mo si mga hapot ko dmn? hehe.
jaefenyoon: you and your friend look good together
dark angel: it would really look good if it is you hahaha
dark angel: banat alert!
dark angel:
jaefenyoon: please
jaefenyoon: lets not talk about that
dark angel: heehhe. com'n consider it as a joke n lng.
jaefenyoon: but not a good one
dark angel: ok im sorry. mas enjoy qng tatawanan n lng natin yun. hehe. kesa umiyak at malungkot pa.
jaefenyoon: sorry
jaefenyoon: it all have to come into this
dark angel: hehe ok lng yun. im ok now. let's just be happy
dark angel: dba? hehe
jaefenyoon: you sure?!
dark angel: i guess i am ehehe
dark angel: na accept ko na kasi na di mo ssbihin sakin. so di na aq mag iinsist
jaefenyoon: thanks for understanding
dark angel: atleast i get the chance to talk to you. without me asking qng anu ngyari before. hehe
dark angel: you still online after 30mins?
jaefenyoon: im not sure
dark angel: aw ok. den til next time again ?
jaefenyoon: still
jaefenyoon: im not sure
dark angel: aw. great. thenm goodbye then
jaefenyoon: bye
dark angel is typing...
dark angel: btw. she's pretty you two look really good together
jaefenyoon: thanks

dark angel signed out

there, I've been really stupid! I wanted to say "it would look good if its WAS you." but I know that I can't and should not!

Darn, I just hope she won't find this blog.

To you dark angel, I hope you find true happiness with him. I know something romantic is going between the two of them. I must admit, I am jealous. But my jealousy won't do me any good.

Finally, I want to tell you I STILL LOVE YOU. But I can only say this from a far. Just in the shadow. Here, in complete oblivion.

Wonder

I wonder what on her mind right now.

She's be dead-silent for the past few weeks.

More than thank you

When I opened my other account, I received an e-mail from her and here's what it say's:

Jem,

Advance Happy Birthday
Hope it would be a good one.

I guess I don't need to hear your voice if you don't want to.
Just your reply would do

She sent me that e-mail yesterday. When I read that message, I have a lot of things that I wanted to tell her. But I know that would just hurt her more than I had hurt her now. So just to be casual, I replied a simple "Thanks". But that's not the only thing I wanted to tell her.

I want to tell her more. To explain everything. But... Never mind, you guys won't understand!

P.S.

She's currently online in Yahoo Messenger and I am tempted to buzz her up!

My Birthday

It had beed twenty one years

Happy Natal Day

Happy Natal Day to me!

Well, my brother gave me a gift yesterday and its a brand new PS3! Really love it!

I am really sorry

I am really sorry ching. I really do.

I won't try or rather attempt to contact you any further. I just dont know what to say or do the moment that I'll be hearing your voice once more.

Sorry.

GOODBYE [A repost]

This is just a repost from my previous blog [http://jaefenyoon.blogspot.com]. I just wanted to repost this cause I think this poem is suitable for the feelings I am enduring right now.

GOODBYE

I'm sorry for everything I had said,
the thought of me making you cry repeats in my head.
I'm sorry I can never make you happy,
inside I feel so crappy.
I'm sorry for wasting your time,
wanted to make you have a happy life.
I'm sorry for I have failed,
never do anything right.
I'm sorry that I had to say sorry
I promise my love, my world, my girl, my perfect dark angel,
that I would never say those awful things
what hurts the most is that I broke my promise, made you cry,
most of all my dark angel
I'm sorry that I have to say goodbye.

Tonight will be the night

:D

Elemntary Days

My picture during my elementary days back in the Philippines

hello

hello

SORRY

I'm sorry for the times you cried,
and the loneliness you felt inside.
I'm sorry for the way things were,
and the selfishness that you endured.
I'm sorry for the nights we lost,
and the deep pain it must have cost.
I'm sorry for the love you missed;
losing you helped me realize this.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to show,
the deepest love you'll ever know.
I'm sorry for the empty days,
and the stresses that you still yet pay.
I'm sorry for the way I left;
I've never felt so much regret.
I'm sorry for the heart I broke,
that shattered with the words I spoke.
I'm sorry for the empty space,
that lay beside you in my place.
I'm sorry for the empty arms;
you fell into when times were hard.
I'm sorry for the days that passed,
Our love now will surely last.
I'm sorry it took so long to vow,
to love you forever here and now

Still In Love With You

The feelings we shared fell to an end,
But my heart is still here for you to mend,
Sometimes I wish you would just understand,
That I still do and you too still can...

I still remember the time that I miss,
The very moment of our very last kiss,
I have dreams about it in my sleep,
Until this day I can still taste your lips...

When I miss you I can’t sleep tight,
I can hardly make it through the night,
Still crazy about you I do tell,
I don’t know why but can’t break the spell...

Never thought I’d end up this way,
I still miss you and want you to stay,
I’ve said it to you but you just don’t care,
You meant it so cold and it’s just not fair...

When I found out that you already found another,
My heart again sank in deeper,
I tried so hard not to cry,
But tears began clouding my eyes..

I wish you knew what you’ve done wrong,
But you’d only hurt me more so long,
As we’ve gone through this pain before,
I know you would only again, say no...

Feeling that you’re always inside of me,
I just can’t set myself free,
But after long I learned to see,
That things, were never meant to be...

This poem was from a friend and thought it would be nice to post it here. :D